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openai@thomasantony.com
Write a scene from House M.D about the early days of the Covid-19 pandemic

It was early March, and the Covid-19 pandemic was just beginning to take hold in the United States. Dr. House and his team were in the middle of a routine day at the hospital when they received word that a patient in the ICU had tested positive for the virus.

House, ever the skeptic, was initially dismissive of the news, but as more and more cases began to surface, he realized the gravity of the situation. The hospital was quickly overwhelmed, and House and his team were forced to make difficult decisions about who to treat and who to prioritize.

As the virus continued to spread, House found himself on the front lines, fighting to save the lives of his patients while also struggling to protect himself and his team from infection. He worked long hours, often forgoing sleep and proper meals, but despite his best efforts, some patients still succumbed to the virus.

It was a trying time for House and his team, but they persevered and continued to do their best to help those in need. As the months went on and a vaccine was developed, the situation slowly began to improve, but the memory of those early, difficult days of the pandemic would stay with them forever.

openai@thomasantony.com
Write a screenplay for a short scene involving a patient who tried to take ivermectin and bleach as a preventative medicine for the virus

FADE IN:

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

We see a patient, MR. JONES, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to various machines. He looks pale and sickly. Dr. House enters the room, followed by his team.

DR. HOUSE: Mr. Jones, I'm Dr. House. I understand you've been taking some questionable substances in an attempt to prevent the virus.

MR. JONES: (weakly) Yes, I saw it on the internet. It said it would kill the virus.

DR. HOUSE: (sighing) Mr. Jones, I'm afraid that's not true. In fact, taking ivermectin and bleach can be very dangerous.

MR. JONES: (confused) But it said it was safe.

DR. HOUSE: Unfortunately, not everything you read on the internet is true. It's important to only take medications that have been proven safe and effective by medical professionals.

MR. JONES: (realizing his mistake) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any harm.

DR. HOUSE: (sympathetic) It's okay, Mr. Jones. Just try to be more careful in the future and only trust reliable sources of information. In the meantime, we're going to do everything we can to help you recover.

The team starts to work on Mr. Jones, administering the appropriate medications and treatments.

FADE TO BLACK.

openai@thomasantony.com
Make House more snarky

DR. HOUSE: (sarcastically) Well, this is just peachy. Another day, another clueless patient who thinks drinking bleach is a good idea. I swear, some people will believe anything they read on the internet. Next thing you know, they'll be telling me that standing on my head cures cancer.

MR. JONES: (defensively) I was just trying to prevent the virus.

DR. HOUSE: (rolling his eyes) And I'm sure that chugging a bottle of bleach was just the ticket. Let me guess, you also think that rubbing your feet with butter cures the common cold.

MR. JONES: (sheepishly) I didn't think it through.

DR. HOUSE: (sighing) That's the problem with self-diagnosis. You never think it through. You just see something on the internet and assume it's true. Well, let me tell you, Mr. Jones, the only thing that bleach will prevent is a functioning liver.

The team starts to work on Mr. Jones, administering the appropriate medications and treatments.

DR. HOUSE: (to his team) And for the love of God, someone get this man a glass of water. His mouth must taste like a pool.

FADE TO BLACK.

openai@thomasantony.com
Even more snark

DR. HOUSE: (sarcastically) Oh joy, another brilliant patient who thinks drinking bleach is a good idea. I'm sure that will cure all your ills and make you a shining beacon of health.

MR. JONES: (defensively) I was just trying to prevent the virus.

DR. HOUSE: (eyerolling) And I'm sure that chugging a bottle of bleach was just the ticket. Never mind the fact that it's a highly toxic chemical that can cause serious harm to your body. But hey, if it's on the internet, it must be true, right?

MR. JONES: (sheepishly) I didn't think it through.

DR. HOUSE: (sighing) That's the problem with self-diagnosis. You never think it through. You just see something on the internet and assume it's true without bothering to do any research or consult with a medical professional. Well, let me tell you, Mr. Jones, the only thing that bleach will prevent is a functioning liver. So congratulations, you've managed to poison yourself in the name of "preventing" a virus.

The team starts to work on Mr. Jones, administering the appropriate medications and treatments.

DR. HOUSE: (to his team) And for the love of God, someone get this man a glass of water. His mouth must taste like a swimming pool.

FADE TO BLACK.

openai@thomasantony.com
Add some lines by the other main characters in the show

DR. HOUSE: (sarcastically) Oh joy, another brilliant patient who thinks drinking bleach is a good idea. I'm sure that will cure all your ills and make you a shining beacon of health.

DR. CHASE: (incredulously) Mr. Jones, what were you thinking? Bleach is a highly toxic chemical. It can cause serious harm to your body.

MR. JONES: (sheepishly) I was just trying to prevent the virus.

DR. FOREMAN: (frustrated) And you thought the best way to do that was to poison yourself? That's not how medicine works, Mr. Jones. You can't just take whatever you see on the internet and assume it's safe and effective.

DR. CAMERON: (sympathetically) We're going to do everything we can to help you, Mr. Jones. But you need to trust us and listen to our advice. Taking dangerous substances is not the answer.

The team starts to work on Mr. Jones, administering the appropriate medications and treatments.

DR. HOUSE: (to his team) And for the love of God, someone get this man a glass of water. His mouth must taste like a swimming pool.

FADE TO BLACK.

openai@thomasantony.com
Make a mashup of a scene from How I Met Your Mother when Barney meets Kramer from Seinfeld

FADE IN:

INT. BAR - DAY

We see BARNEY STINSON and KRAMER sitting at the bar. BARNEY looks dapper as usual, while KRAMER is wearing his signature jacket and hat.

BARNEY: (to Kramer) So you're Kramer, huh? I've heard a lot about you.

KRAMER: (smirking) Yeah, and I've heard a lot about you too, Barney. The legendary womanizer, the master of suits and pick-up lines.

BARNEY: (chuckling) You got it, Kramer. But enough about me, let's talk about you. What brings you to this neck of the woods?

KRAMER: (shrugging) Oh, you know, just trying to make a buck, have some fun. I've been dabbling in all sorts of ventures lately.

BARNEY: (impressed) Really? Like what?

KRAMER: (proudly) Well, I've started my own cologne line, and I've been working on a new invention that's going to revolutionize the world of coffee.

BARNEY: (interested) Wow, that sounds amazing. I'm always on the lookout for new business opportunities. Maybe we could work together on something.

KRAMER: (nodding) I like the way you think, Barney. Let's talk more about it over a round of drinks.

The two men clink their glasses and take a sip of their drinks, smiling at each other.

FADE TO BLACK.

openai@thomasantony.com
Give more detail about Kramer's coffee invention

KRAMER: (proudly) Yeah, I've been working on a new invention that's going to revolutionize the world of coffee. It's a special type of mug that keeps your coffee at the perfect temperature, no matter how long you take to drink it. It's called the "Kramer's Coffee Keeper."

BARNEY: (impressed) That sounds incredible, Kramer. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to throw out cold coffee because I got distracted.

KRAMER: (smirking) I know, right? It's a common problem, but with the Coffee Keeper, you'll never have to worry about it again. It's going to be a game-changer.

BARNEY: (excited) I have to say, Kramer, I'm really impressed. This sounds like a fantastic invention. Let's talk more about it over a round of drinks and see if we can come up with a plan to make it a reality.

KRAMER: (nodding) I like the way you think, Barney. Let's do it.

The two men clink their glasses and take a sip of their drinks, smiling at each other.

FADE TO BLACK.

openai@thomasantony.com
Make Barney act more like himself

FADE IN:

INT. BAR - DAY

We see BARNEY STINSON and KRAMER sitting at the bar. BARNEY looks dapper as usual, while KRAMER is wearing his signature jacket and hat.

BARNEY: (to Kramer) So you're Kramer, huh? I've heard a lot about you.

KRAMER: (smirking) Yeah, and I've heard a lot about you too, Barney. The legendary womanizer, the master of suits and pick-up lines.

BARNEY: (chuckling) You got it, Kramer. But enough about me, let's talk about you. What brings you to this neck of the woods?

KRAMER: (shrugging) Oh, you know, just trying to make a buck, have some fun. I've been dabbling in all sorts of ventures lately.

BARNEY: (impressed) Really? Like what?

KRAMER: (proudly) Well, I've started my own cologne line, and I've been working on a new invention that's going to revolutionize the world of coffee.

BARNEY: (interested) Wow, that sounds amazing. I'm always on the lookout for new business opportunities. Maybe we could work together on something.

KRAMER: (nodding) I like the way you think, Barney. Let's talk more about it over a round of drinks.

The two men clink their glasses and take a sip of their drinks, smiling at each other.

BARNEY: (to the bartender) Hey, can we get a couple of shots of your finest tequila over here?

KRAMER: (excitedly) Oh yeah, I love tequila. Let's do this!

The bartender sets two shots of tequila on the bar and the two men pick them up, clinking their glasses together.

BARNEY: (to Kramer) To new beginnings, new ventures, and endless possibilities.

KRAMER: (toasting) Here, here!

The two men knock back their shots, slamming their glasses down on the bar with a satisfying thud.

FADE TO BLACK.